Friday, October 8, 2010

Ke$ha's new video is Ke$HIT.

What the F--K is this acid trip of a mess?  Honestly, I'm almost offended.  This is the biggest piece of auto-tune garbage I've seen in quite some time and this chick has 3 hits on the radio?  Please explain.  First off, that shit on her lips looks like she took one of those Robin Egg candies that are really malted milk balls, only painted blue for Easter....anyway....looks like she painted her lips blue with one of those and then seriously tripped on something and made this cheap, nasty video.  Do you know what it smells like in New York City when you're walking over the Subway grates on the sidewalk?  That hot steam comes up and it just smells like burnt hair and urine?  That's what I imagine all of them in this video collectively smell like.  I've had a problem with Ke$hit since day 1....first of all, she doesn't sing.  I don't know what you call what she does, but its not singing.  Second, she appears to be a dime store version of Lady Gaga.  And I feel like she has bad B.O.  I have no grounds for that comment, but its my personal opinion so it's this ridiculous piss-poor "music video" if you care to watch it.  Purely AWFUL. 

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Who is THAT?!

Well I'll be damned...its Lisa Rinna...POST lip-de-plumping surgery.  Holy shit.  That's almost like Jennifer Grey and her nose job.  I wouldn't have known it was her had People Magazine not posted this oh-so-important "news" story....I just wondered who Harry was having an affair with.  I cannot believe how different Lisa looks minus that ginormous top lip we've all come to know...and love...well not love.  It looked like 2 slugs were stuffed into her lips and still wiggling around.  However, I'm not sure this is an improvement.  She looks 100% different.  Not like Lisa Rinna.  You be the judge.  Here's before and after photos....

Daily Franco...... read that right....THIS piece of terrifiying is my beloved James Franco draggin' it up for the cover of trans magazine CANDY.  This photo is causing me ALL kinds of distress this morning....first for somewhat resembling a clown, next for the fact that he really does kind of look like a woman in this photo (a manly one) and he seems very comfortable like that and lastly....ITS JAMES FRANCO IN DRAG.  Now don't get me wrong, I love a good drag show myself....they're fun....I have friends who are superb drag queens as a matter of fact...lovely ladies.  But this....THIS.  I'm almost rendered speechless...I'm making bizarre noises that are a mixture of shock and disbelief and laughing....and maybe's the Daily that I've had my heart attack for the day, I can get back to work.  That ridiculous paint on his beautiful lips doesn't do them justice. 

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Its your LUCKY day ladies....

So I'm feeling all nostalgic over the New Kids on the Block now and I've been wasting time watching their youtube videos...which led me to an obvious choice to post....this was my all time FAVORITE video and song.  I spent MANY hours perfecting this dance in my basement standing in front of the tv.  And I proudly rock out every time it comes on the radio.....or my iPod....or XM....I digress.  I'll spare you the gory details of what happened to me not too long ago when this song came on while I was in the shower and I attempted to do the the shower...let's just say I damn near died that day.  Not pretty.  And with that mental picture...I'll leave you with this....

Maybe YOU can be Donnie Wahlberg's 'Cover Girl'....

So...if you recall, yesterday just as I was leaving work, it came to my attention that Donnie Wahlberg, the resident "badboy" of New Kids on the Block is officially back ON the market.  The report said that he and his wife of 9 years, Kim, officially have split.  They have 2 sons together.  NOW...Let me tell you something.  Circa 1987-1992, I loved me some Donnie.  I loved NKOTB for that matter.  I took it upon myself to educate my friends at school, even the boys, on this musical phenom.  I ran my own fan club.  I owned hundreds and hundreds of trading cards, I owned bedsheets, shoelaces, stickers, t-shirts, a jacket, lunchbox, posters out the ass, pins and those GIANT buttons that cost like $10 a piece because they were the size of your head, I had every single one of those.  That store Spencers in the mall carried all kinds of NKOTB junk and every single week, once I got my allowance, I went and bought new stuff.  I made it a mission to completely cover the entire front of my jean jacket with obnoxious buttons.  I saw them in concert during their Magic Summer tour at Busch Stadium in St. Louis in 1988....I saw them on their latest tour in 2008 at Scottrade Center.  Oh...I forgot, I had the NKOTB dolls as well.  I also proudly owned all of their music videos and 'movies' on VHS....and made any friend that came over watch them.  They also put out some books....I owned those as well.  I even went so far as to get dressed up one day so my mom could take my photo next to each individual poster that was hanging in my room....I figured that was the closest I'd ever get to meeting them.  Don't give me the side was COOL.  And Donnie was the coolest of them all.  Not the best singer...but who's really paying attention anyway?  So, Donnie's a free man now ladies...GO GET HIM.  And I know some of you who read this work for radio stations and met them on their last suck.  Just kidding.  Here's some photos and yes, here's Hangin' Tough (the original)....I couldn't find a good copy of 'Cover Girl'.....ENJOY. 

Monday, October 4, 2010

How to Dress like a B-I-T-C-H

Here's Megan Fox...straight off the Style Watch list of People Magazine...she made the list for those amazing silver velvet shoes, that if I could get my hands on, believe me, I would.  Those rock.  She, however, does not.  At least she was in the magazine for her foot attire and not for making dipshit comments regarding how her male fans feel towards her or how she makes her relationship with Brian Austin Green (forever David Silver from 90210) work.  She looks like plastic.

I know you missed it.....

And any post wouldn't be complete without a little James Franco to start my's a photo of him from his appearance on Letterman a week or so ago....and I love the photo Dave is holding up...the one that famously made its way around the internet of JF sleeping through a class at Columbia.  This past week marked the 11th anniversary of the first airing of my all time favorite tv show Freaks and Geeks, which launched the careers of James Franco, Seth Rogen, Jason Segel, Linda Cardellini, Busy Phillips, Martin Starr and John F. Daly.  If you don't know who any of these people are, I HIGHLY suggest you them because ALL of them are in some pretty amazing stuff right now.  Martin Starr may just be the most underrated member of that cast.  I suggest you rent Adventureland or go online and watch episodes of Starz's latest casualty, Party Down.  He's brilliant.  Ok...this started out as posting my daily eye candy and turned into me raving on Martin Starr, who I adore.  You got 2 for the price of 1.  Enjoy. 

Dumb 'News' of the Day

Are you kidding me right  now People Magazine?  I realize you report on completely stupid things, but you ARE the #1 source for celebrity "news" so I'm still religiously following....and then again I'm passing along this 'news' that will make you dumber for having read it, but if People reports it, then it MUST be what THE PEOPLE want to here goes....ladies, if you ever wanted to know how to keep your relationship with your man strong...just follow this couple's advice...mind you, a couple that no one gives a rat's ass about, but a 'celebrity' couple nonetheless.  Here goes:  Vanessa Manillo and Nick Lachey.  According to People, "We shower in the morning and we shower at some point during the day or before bed. We both have our own showerheads so we just talk while we're soaping up and doing our hair," Minnillo tells the magazine.  She adds: "It's not a sexual thing and it's not a romantic thing, it just becomes an intimate thing ... I've had some of my most intimate conversations with him in the shower."  "You have to talk through everything," she says. "We talk daily about things that upset us. It's about having a sounding board because if you hold in all your thoughts, dreams, anger and anxiety than you're only hurting yourself."   Apparently that's not all they're talking about....Nick Lachey is reportedly in the talks for a new reality show....what the hell for?  The only reason he was ever in one in the first place was because he was married to Jessica Simpson, who was indeed famous at the time....and it KILLED their why in the hell would this Vanessa chick even consider that?! 
"Nick has done [reality TV] before and he was very successful at it and whatever he chooses to do with his future I will support him 100 percent," Minnillo says. "But me personally, I don't know. I think that there's something to be said for keeping intimate moments to yourself."   Come again?  If by "100% successful at it" you mean a failed marriage and nothing but boyband leftovers for a career, then yes, he was an amazing success.....I think the only smart thing she said was that she didn't want to be involved in that....but let's be honest for a second, neither of them have booming careers....I have a feeling we'll see their reality show together in 3, 2, 1.....
And let's rewind....THEY TALK ABOUT ALL OF THIS IN THE SHOWER.  How LONG are those showers?


....Helen Mirren, not Russell Brand.  Seriously, let's be honest...Helen Mirren is a total fox...not only is she damn near a GOD for being 65 and having that body, but she's brutally honest, such a spitfire and wicked talented to boot.  I  bow down.  And I love that Russell Brand finds her dead sexy as well.  I like  Russell Brand...sure, he looks like he never showers and I imagine he has horrendous breath (I have no grounds for making such a statement of course, but I feel as though it could be true), but truth be told, he can rock a pair of leather pants and spit nails with that My Fair Lady-esque accent of is and there's just something about the entire package that I rather enjoy....He recently told People Magazine what he thought of his co-star in The Tempest...."Confidence. Potency. Female energy. Roaring estrogen.  "She's got that potency, doesn't she?" he said. That's why she can play queens and leaders."  Of course he also went on to state, "Women are, of course, powerful, feral creatures – the Earth being so female, the cosmos, even, perhaps being a female instinct, creating life," he said. "If women get in tune to that energy, it'll destroy us all."  
Yes Mr. afraid.